


Dumbledore Only Looks Like Santa

by Lamplighter1890



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Christmas, Gen, Harry Potter - Freeform, Hogwarts, Humor, Ministry of Magic (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-12 11:53:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19945726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lamplighter1890/pseuds/Lamplighter1890
Summary: It's the Christmas season and something is afoot at the Ministry for Magic: secret meeting, shocking information, history-altering decision. Arthur Weasley had no idea the season could be so complicated!





	Dumbledore Only Looks Like Santa

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, it's Christmas in July! And what's better than Christmas with MORE magic!

The offices and corridors in the Ministry for Magic were quiet, no doubt a result of the late hour as much as the time of year. You could say it was a "ghost town" except that everyone knew that the Ministry had eliminated their ghost "problem" some years ago. The playful, erratic, and occasionally "mean-spirited" entities were negatively impacting employee performance; and, as in all bureaucracies, anything that hinders, distracts or derails the machinery must be eliminated.

The hearths that lined the Main Entrance Hall were quiet, as their magical transportation function had all but finished for the evening. The only noise was the rhythmic sound of mopping as two members of the Ministry's janitorial staff slowly worked their way toward the Main Plaza. Their wands moved back and forth in a long mastered rhythm that was mimicked by six mops across the black slate floor.

The two janitorial workers, Boris and Nancy Plinth, were long-time employees of the Ministry and were as familiar with the building's complicated and inefficient floorplan as they were of the layout of their small flat. In a few short years, they could retire with a Ministry pension. That was the goal they held onto throughout the long nights of mopping, dusting, trashcan emptying, and picking up after every self-important wizard and witch who worked at the Ministry and wouldn't dream of speaking to a member of the "staff."

So, they kept their heads down, did their work, and crossed the days off of the calendar. Yet, as with so many domestics and servants throughout history, both muggle and magical, the Plinths quietly went about their work, unnoticed but seeing, unheard but hearing, and observant of things left about and items discarded.

And tonight, something was going on, something unusual, because the Minister himself was still in his office. Now, on occasion, the Minister was known to stay late, but in this instance, Evander Thompkins, Amos Diggory, and a Hogwarts Professor were in his office, and that was very unusual.

They had just finished the Main Entrance Hall and were about to start on the plaza when they heard a hearth activate signaling a new arrival via the floo network.

Boris turned around to see the new arrival just as Professor Albus Dumbledore stepped out of the hearth, brushed some soot off his robes and, began walking towards the Main Plaza.

"Professor Dumbledore Sir, you're here late" stammered Boris, as the appearance of the Professor confirmed his suspicion that something important was in the works.

"Good evening, Boris... Nancy" said the Professor as he smiled at the two janitors. Then he removed two small wrapped packages from the sleeve of his robe and handed one to Boris, then to Nancy.

"I wish a Happy Christmas to two of the Ministry's most valuable employees."

They smiled at the Professor and wished him a Happy Christmas, and Nancy silently cursed the fact that they had nothing to give the Headmaster in return. This wasn't the first time that the Professor had presented the Plinth's with presents, and he always treated them with kindness and respect. Although they would never refer to him as a "friend," they felt a kinship for him; so much so, that assisting him was a priority of the humble couple.

Yes, Boris and Nancy heard and saw much, which in turn they shared with Professor Albus Dumbledore.

Dumbledore's brother, Aberforth, would have sarcastically stated that the relationship was a very convenient and profitable one for Albus. But, Aberforth never really understood that motivation can have many layers.

The elevator doors opened, and Professor Dumbledore stepped out into the large, high-ceilinged hallway that led to the office of the Minister for Magic, Cornelius Fudge. The Headmaster of Hogwarts footsteps rang and echoed down the hall even though he was wearing soft-soled slippers. An Echo Charm placed on the floor tiles was meant to intimidate visitors, as the Minister thought that the long hall and the echo helped to create a sense of power.

A culturally astute witch or wizard, or even a simple muggle might have said that it smacked of the Wizard of Oz.

The Professor waved the great doors at the end of the hall open and entered the Greeting Room of the Minister's Office, where he was welcomed with a curt "good evening Professor" from Agnus, the Minister's secretary.

"Ah Agnus, how lovely you look tonight," replied the Professor.

A small, tight smile was her response, as she pointed toward the large meeting room, her magical feathered quill never hesitating as it transferred dictation to a scroll.

"And your dress is so festive, a perfect way to celebrate the current holiday season," said the Professor as he headed for the meeting room. Her dress was black, and she despised the muggle notion of Christmas, which of course, the Professor was quite aware.

"Albus come in, come in... I, or we, have been waiting for you," shouted out Cornelius Fudge, the Minister for Magic. A squarish built man with receding light-colored hair, and reddish nose and cheeks, which suggested to some that the Minister enjoyed celebrating his position with some frequency.

A career bureaucrat within the Ministry, Fudge was given the office of Minister by default when Professor Dumbledore turned down the post for the third time. Thus, in receiving his position as a sort of "hand me down," Fudge had developed a large inferiority complex and was terrified that people would find him inadequate for the job. In other words, he was terrified of the truth.

The most remarkable thing about this unremarkable man was his suit, which was an expensive, handcrafted item, purchased from an exclusive muggle tailor frequented by muggle film stars and politicians. Years in Ministry service had taught him to dress the part and make no decisions that could conceivably have a consequence for him.

The Minister sat down at the head of a very long rectangular conference table and motioned Professor Dumbledore to a chair on his right. Dumbledore walked the length of the beautiful wooden table that was inlaid with stars, weaved knot patterns, and various animal shapes. Rumor has it that the legendary Merlin designed the table as a gift for his protege, King Arthur, but the King was fickle and went with a table he had created himself.

Professor Dumbledore greeted the other attendees as he walked to his seat: Evander Thompkins, the head of the Department of Magical Cooperation; Amos Diggory, from the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures; Arthur Weasley for the Department of Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office (there was no department head so as senior employee in the section Weasley attended); and finally his friend, Hogwarts Professor Minerva McGonagall.

"Albus, this is about Caruthers," pointedly stated Minister Fudge.

Dumbledore waved his wand at a nearby decanter and floated it and an attending glass over to the table in front of him.

"Yes, I know," he replied as the decanter poured him a fair measure of sherry.

Fudge rolled his eyes - of course, he already knows!

"Then you know that we had to collect him and he is currently at St. Mungos... half-off his chum, poor old boy. Well, what are we going to do?"

The Professor took a sip, smiled and thought, "ah, the advantage of having a Minister who appreciates fine liquor is that his guests can appreciate it as well."

"Its quite simple Cornelius, we shall have to replace him," he said, and he took another sip.

"Yes, yes, Professor, I think I speak for EVERYONE here when I say that is quite obvious, but what is NOT as obvious is who in the blazes do we replace him with?" spat out Amos Diggory. The other attendees seemed to share Amos' concern, if not his anxiety.

"You don't speak for me Amos, and it is my opinion that we should not replace him. Perhaps we should let this particular muggle celebration die," stated Fudge in his most serious, political tone.

The room grew quiet as each attendee weighed the Minister's words.

"So there is a difference of opinion regarding our course of action," stated Professor Dumbledore as he set down his sherry glass.

He continued, "It seems that we must choose between the extension of a tradition centuries in existence, or we must move on and leave the non-magic to their own devices."

Minister Fudge sat back and looked like he required an antacid, while Diggory strummed the table with his fingers, Thompkins looked at his watch, and McGonagall slowly stirred her tea. Arthur Weasley just looked confused.

"Arthur, I must apologize; it seems that you have been asked to attend this meeting, and we neglected to inform you regarding the agenda," stated Dumbledore.

"To get to the point, we must select - or not - a new Santa Claus," said Professor Dumbledore.

Arthur Weasley froze; his expression a picture of astonishment. Did he correctly hear the Headmaster?

As Professor Dumbledore would now explain to the dumbfounded Arthur Weasley, St. Nicholas, or Santa Claus as he was more commonly known, was an employee of the Ministry for Magic.

Long before the Ministry existed, leaders in the magic community started to look for ways to calm the suspicions of the non-magic. There was fear and animosity between the magic and the non-magic, and many had suffered over the years as a result of these feelings. A wizard named Jeratticus suggested utilizing the practices and tales of the non-magic as a way to normalize the idea that magic can be good.

He seized upon a tradition of gift-giving after the manner of a man named Saint Nicholas of Myra and thought that perhaps he could expand the idea of providing children gifts. He found that many cultures held similar traditions performed by a mythical person.

Jeratticus requested a council of wizards and proposed that they bring to life the legend of St. Nicholas, and thereby introduce magic as a positive force in the world. They agreed and thus, St. Nicholas, or Santa Claus, was born.

The wizard council found a volunteer, and for hundreds of years, Magnus of Thrumstock was Santa Claus. It took the combined magic of the greatest wizards of the time to create what was required to fulfill the legend and to allow Magnus to meet his challenges. They gave him an extended lifespan, strengthened memory charms, and he was granted a workforce of house elves to manufacture the children's gifts.

But there can be consequences to magic, and Magnus eventually paid the price for his unnaturally long life: insanity. The council found a replacement, and after a time another. The Headmaster at Hogwarts eventually took over as the Chair of the "Christmas Project," but ultimately, the Ministry came into existence and demanded oversight. So, bureaucrats replaced the great minds of the wizarding world. The exception was the Headmaster of Hogwarts, who was granted a permanent position on the Project Council.

"Come now Dumbledore, let us vote on whether to continue to fund this project, which incidentally is a tremendous drain on Ministry resources," stated a tired Cornelius Fudge.

Then the Headmaster's expression changed, and he leaned forward and folded his hands on the table. McGonagall had seen him assume this posture many, many times, and she knew that the group was about to be told what they were going to do.

"Yes, resources... Minister, do you really want to eliminate a benevolent magical person who is loved by millions of people? A person who for generations has changed the perception of non-magic people about magic?"

The Headmaster paused for effect.

"Then, of course, eliminating Santa Claus only removes our participation in the holiday, it does not eliminate the spiritual aspect of Christmas. So, shall we choose to withdraw and reduce the goodwill that has taken many years to establish?"

The room was silent except for the faint, faraway, scratching of Agnus' quill.

"I for one certainly do not want to eliminate Santa Claus, and agree with Professor Dumbledore, that we need to find a replacement for Caruthers," stated McGonagall with finality, not unlike when she assigned homework at Hogwarts.

"Thank you, Professor McGonagall, as your agreement with the Headmaster is the least surprising thing I've heard tonight," exhaled Minister Fudge.

"Professor, if I may..." cautiously said Arthur Weasley. At this point, Arthur had recovered from the shock of being invited to a secret high-level meeting and learning that Santa was really a wizard, and now felt brave enough to offer a suggestion.

"Really Weasley, I don't see how your presence is helpful, and..." interrupted an obviously disgusted Fudge.

"But I, on the other hand, I felt that the input of someone from Arthur's department could be invaluable in so momentous a decision..." in turn interrupted Dumbledore.

"Arthur, please continue."

Arthur Weasley felt the full weight of those five sets of eyes looking at him in a mix of interest, patronization, and doubt. He was suddenly terrified.

"Professor, I know someone who seems to fit the requirements for the job... um, you know, who could fill the bill as they say."

Professor Dumbledore smiled and nodded at Arthur as a sign of encouragement to proceed with his idea.

"Gerald Poppington."

"Never heard of him" snorted Fudge, which drew a chuckle from Amos Diggory.

"I remember Gerald Poppington," flatly stated McGonagall. "He was a mischievous sort who was always in and out of my office and detention. But, he was a good boy, with a good heart, and never meant any real harm, so I always had trouble putting him to punishment... and he was a top-notch Beater."

"Well, he hasn't changed much!" laughed Arthur.

Fudge scowled, and Dumbledore floated the sherry decanter towards him - "do go on Arthur."

"Well, Gerald worked in my Department for a time and really tremendous knowledge and fascination for all the things that muggles create - he really became an expert.

His father was a wizard, but his mother was a muggle, so he was raised in a family that celebrated Christmas, and he has a real love for it. He used to decorate the office, and organized a gift exchange with everyone, well, and was just a joy to work with."

"Well, what happened to him - where is he?" blurted out Fudge.

"His mother got sick some years ago, and he resigned the ministry to go home and care for her, as his father had passed."

"Well done Weasley, he sounds like a good recommendation - how are his flying skills?" stated Evander Thompkins, who of course was concerned with transportation issues.

"I believe that we should bring Mr. Poppington in and conduct an interview, and in the meantime Cornelius, perhaps you should look over his file," stated Professor Dumbledore with some degree of authority.

"But Albus, Christmas is just nine days from today, we have no TIME! How are we to get him ready in time, assuming he is a suitable selection!"

Professor Dumbledore sipped his sherry and glanced about at the other attendees.

"I should think that we will have all the time we require Cornelius," replied Dumbledore rather simply.

"Wait! The sleigh, Cornelius, the sleigh!" exhorted Evander Thompkins rather suddenly.

"As long as he - Santa that it is - is relatively near his sleigh, time slows down, or even stops! We will have all the time we need to get him ready!" triumphantly shouted Thompkins.

When the council created the job of Santa Claus, they imbued his sleigh with potent magic that allowed Santa to manipulate time; he could not go forward or backward in time, only slow or stop it, and as a result, he was able to manage his Christmas visits all in "one night."

Fudge sat back and assumed a look of resignation. He randomly wondered if people would like his idea to improve the Ministry's cafeteria by adding a Fondue Station.

"Ah then Cornelius, that settles things," said Professor Dumbledore as he stood up.

"Have Agnus send Gerald Poppington an owl immediately while we order something to eat and you read his file, because after all, if files weren't important, would you keep them?"

Minister Fudge sighed, got up, and walked out to the Greeting Room and his dutiful secretary to issue her his instructions.

Professor Dumbledore produced a quill and scroll:  
"I think that some lemon cake and tea to start... anyone?"

  
***


End file.
